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Nurse Cratchit's Ward


 Depraved Hooligans
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I do not believe since my long absence from this dive I'm still receiving disturbing messages.

I did not have anything to do with Dr. Killsmany's untimely death.

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The investigation remains open.

All you fruitcakes need to just go about your business of whatever it is you do here.

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I've been transferred to a different hospital.

All the flimflam surrounding the inquest made it impossible to work.

People just can't stop meddling in my business.

I know I'm an interesting subject, everyone wants to know about

ETHEL CRATCHIT.

So there you have it, you can stop with the messages.

All you young men with your vile disgraceful thoughts, you are barking up the wrong tree.

Sex pots and hooligans!!

I'll be back, don't you worry!!

Posted by Nurse Crachit at 10:10 PM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Comments:

Ethel,

While you might expect these good people to believe that you have been transferred because you were being "meddled with" those of us at Woodville know where you are, and for what reason you are there!

Does this look familiar?

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We hear that you are almost ready to return to Woodville after your extended stay. Will you be returning as a patient on Ward 8? Oh boy, what fun! I can't wait for your return! You've been missed!

 
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by Lola-la! (PM , CC ) on Saturday September 8, 2007 @ 11:47 AM






Visit Ivory's Christian Community




Visit Ivory's Christian Community
 
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by Ivory (PM , CC ) on Saturday September 8, 2007 @ 9:02 PM




OH Lola,

I have never seen that jacket before, I think it is part of your sex pot antics. Leave it to you to restrain your victims with that contraption. Is that what you did to Dr. Killsmany? Maybe you tied him up too tight and he had to gasp for air. The truth will come out, don't you worry you hussy!!

I'll be back !

Cratchit
 
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by Nurse Crachit (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 9, 2007 @ 6:59 PM




So Lola and Cratchit still arguing over whose lipstick matches...and that nice woman in between the 2 of them trying to save them from themselves....Where's Columbo when you need him ...and save one of those designer jackets for me...  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 9, 2007 @ 7:09 PM




Ethel, I guess you haven't heard the news, being tied up and all! but an arrest has been made in the death of Dr. Killsmany, and your little vacation is about over you crotchity old hag! Shall we reserve you a bed here on Ward 8?  
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by Lola-la! (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 16, 2007 @ 11:07 PM




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Nurse Cratchit, you've had a visitor to the Ward since you been gone, you remember Bubba don't you? He wrote you the most beautiful love sonnet, don't you remember? Perhaps fond memories will speed your recovery and give you something to look forward to on your return to Woodville.

To My Ethel

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all dem fleas.

~

You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

~

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven,

and awed by yore charms.

~

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.

~

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

~

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'

despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

~

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

we go together like a skunk goes with it's stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; they git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.

~

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds......

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

Luv, from yor romeo, Bubba.

P.S. I think yore slicker'n deer guts on a door nob.

Yes, Cratchit, poor Bubba has been pining away worrying about you. I'm sure he'll be back in the Ward to check on your return. We are all looking forward to your return, Ethel. Best regards you crotchity ole hag!

 
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by Lola-la! (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 18, 2007 @ 11:02 PM




Funny!  
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by Desari (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 18, 2007 @ 11:05 PM




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Happy Holidays, Cratchitt, wherever you are!
 
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by Bella (PM , CC ) on Monday December 24, 2007 @ 6:43 PM




Nurse Cratchit,

I guess your electroconvulsive shock therapy sent your mind wandering aimlessly in space? Never to be seen or heard from again?

 
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by Lola-la! (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 27, 2008 @ 4:59 PM




Oh "She" will take a double shot of this, don't let "them" know  
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by Self To Self (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 27, 2008 @ 5:02 PM




Where in the world IS Nurse Cratchit??!! Either America's Most Wanted is searching for her and she's on the lam or they got her locked up in the isolation ward.

I hope she returns soon. The hospital ain't the same without her.

PolarB ;)
 
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by PolarB (PM , CC ) on Sunday July 27, 2008 @ 5:06 PM




does Jack know you're on the loose?

ice
 
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by -ice- (PM , CC ) on Friday November 28, 2008 @ 9:32 AM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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