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Nurse Cratchit's Ward


 For all the lunatics, fruitcakes, and cuckoos.
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The clinic is full today.

 

 Dr. Jolly has been working overtime to see all of his crackpots.

 

Dr. Jolly was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

 You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

He turned to the second Mom. Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.

He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers "come on Dick, we're leaving."

 

 

 

 

 

Lola Luslips, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.

"Doctor, you must help me," Lola pleaded.

"It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up sleeping with them.

And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed the Lola. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"

 

 

"On TV, the commercial says that 8 out of 10 people suffer from hemorrhoids.

Does this mean the other 2 people enjoy them?"

 

 

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. 

The friend was amazed at the number of times Nurse Cratchit entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.

 “Why all the attention?” the friend asked. “You look fine to me.”

“I know!” grinned the patient. “But  Nurse Cratchit formed a little fan club when they heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches.”

 

Who said that?? That's not funny!!

I'll be back, don't you worry!!
Posted by Nurse Crachit at 2:19 PM - 18 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Comments:

Great post Nurse...Thanks for the laughs  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 3:43 PM




There you go again, crotchity-assed Cratchit making assumptions based on absolutely nothing. How dare you once again !!

I heard that Dr. Jolly likes to get his jollies with any nursie he can hold still !!! [EMOTICON:ANGRY3]]
 
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by Lola Mae (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 5:05 PM




u like to pick on lola dont u?  
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by lil_devil_trish (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 5:11 PM




Ah, Nurse,
Why is it I hear you singing, 'it's the most wonderful time of the year'? That's a Christmas song!!!

Oh well. Enjoyed the post anyway.
 
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by MrOrnery1851 (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 5:26 PM




Lola Mae,

I can't help that your reputation is tarnished!! That's what happens when you parade yourself around and act like a trollop, exposing your breasts and sleeping with every new intern.

I've just about had enough of this gobbledygook!!!

I will catch up with you soon!!!

Face to face, you and me!!

I'm throwing down the bedpan!!!!!

This means WAR!!

I'll be back,
Cratchit

 
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by Nurse Crachit (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 5:30 PM




Would you care to join us on the nighshift, Cratchit? Poor thing!! We've got your enema waiting for you !! obviously you are constipated with me and my morals !!!  
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by Lola Mae (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 5:39 PM




I'll see you tomorrow night at the Ward 8 Bash, Cratchitt !!  
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by Lola Mae (PM , CC ) on Monday October 30, 2006 @ 11:10 PM




That Vice President almost LOOKS like Dick Cheney!! Nurse Crachit, you have got to be a RN. 'Cause you are Real Nuts!!!!  
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by Squash4brains (PM , CC ) on Monday October 30, 2006 @ 11:23 PM




New to your blog Nurse Crachit but what a wonderful day to discover it!!! Happy Hallow's Eve 2006!!

You got a new fan or member of the Cuckoos Nest!

Boo! ~pr~
 
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by Pretty Rubble (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 11:13 AM




Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting ...Have a Safe One!!...  
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by lilladyreg (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 3:26 PM




JUST THOUGHT I COULD REFREE. THIS FIGHT, BUT NOT ME I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES! YOU SURE ARE A CRANKY ONE MAYBE THEY SHOULD CALL YOU NURSE CRANKY? I BETTER GET OUT OF HERE I THINK I'LL HEAD OVER TO 'NORMAN MAMAS HOUSE' IT SAFER! STOPPED BY TO SAY HI BUT NOW I'LL GRAB MY COAT AND SAY GOODBY!
YOUR FRIEND,(*and it sounds like you can use some)
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN
 
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by BIG DEAN (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 6:33 PM




27 stitiches for a circumcision? Ah ha, I know what you like.



Sherry
 
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by Sherry'sCherries (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 8:44 PM




I seen yer picture of a new vice president. Did Lola Mae gets promoted?  
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by Captain Caption (PM , CC ) on Wednesday November 1, 2006 @ 1:41 PM




Love Bomb

I have been working around the clock for some time now, reading everything from War & Peace to the ingredients label from a vintage Hostess Twinkie, trying to devise the perfect antidote to hurt, fear, hate and all that emanates from the Dark Side. This endeavor, which I have code-named, “The Man Hat Project,” has finally reached its glorious pinnacle. After a few misguided attempts, my apologies to the guineas , I have stumbled (many thanks to Budweiser) upon the answer.

The Love Bomb is fashioned after the US Military’s bunker-buster technology and no-one, no-where, can escape its Positive Energies. While most of the science behind it is too complex to reveal here, the end results are Utopian.

All who are within 3 blogs of this post have now been cleansed by its Healing Light and will henceforth show kindness, compassion and respect for their fellow man. I did have to remove the Ecstacy from the publically distributed version. You’ll, no doubt, be receiving emails describing how you can obtain this “Marc’s Special” version of the Love Bomb.

Surrender to the Love now and climb aboard this Love Train. We are going coast-to-coast to those that need us the most!


 
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by Marc Rules in Contrast (PM , CC ) on Wednesday November 1, 2006 @ 10:58 PM




HEY CRACHIT OLD ONE, GOT YOUR E-MAIL AND COMMENT BOUT LOLA-MAE AND ME
YEAH I JUST BOUGHT THE WARD A NEW C/D PLAYER AND WE ARE GOING TO CARRY ON ALL NIGHT LONG AND YOU AINT INVITED CAUSE YOU LIKE THAT POINTEE THING
BlogAdorn.com

BlogAdorn.com
AND WE HATE NEEDLES AND IF WE MAKE OUT WHATAREYOUGOINGTODOJ0ININTHEFUNDON'TTHINKYOU'DFITIN
CATCHUSIFYOUCANMANMOUNTAINDEANANDFRIENDS
 
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by BIG DEAN (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 1:47 AM





Be Blessed,
PJ
 
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by PJ (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 1:54 AM




Great giggles to start off the day!
Thanks,
Pye
 
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by Pyewacket (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 8:31 AM




You are giving me flashbacks...I have ER PTSD!!!!!...(humor)
Reminds me of the craziness when I worked in that environment, the connections of being part of a team, the laughter,,the dark humor, and what I don't miss.
Code Blue in Room 2
 
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by capananda (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 1:39 PM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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