Things have been rather hectic here on the ward. The renovation is coming along nicely.

The new nurses leave a lot to be desired. They are all sex pots shaking their tail feathers around the doctors. It is quiet the spectacle.

Erma Easilay has been here to help, these other nurses are incompetent.

I should turn them all into the board!!

Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor

He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."

Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.

He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."

After examining you, he says, "Now do me."

He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.

He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."

His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.

He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."

Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."

He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.

 They found a naked dead body of a nurse washed up on the shore today.

How did they know it was a nurse?

She had an empty stomach, a full bladder, and her butt was chewed out.

After a Bladder Scan showed a PVR of 1232 cc in a man's bladder, Nurse Cratchit went into the patient's room to insert a foley catheter.

The patient was an elderly gentleman and he became a little agitated as Nurse Cratchit explained the procedure and why he needed to have the catheter inserted.

He finally agreed to have the procedure done.

After I had sucessfully inserted the catheter, he sat upright in bed and said, "No decent woman would have done that."

Nurse Cratchit told him she agreed and that was why I was given the job.

Who said that!!

That's not funny, you should be ashamed of yourselves!!

I'll be back, Don't you worry!!