Meet the psychiatrist.

 

 

Dr. Jolly

 

 Dr. Jolly is a fine man. He has a small group of patients. Seems they drop like flies under his care. Most drop from very tall buildings while screaming Jeronimooooooooooo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the psychiatrist hotline:

 

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 . . . repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and we are tracing this call. Please stay on the line.

If you are schizophrenic, please wait and a little voice will tell you what to do.

If you are manic depressive it doesn’t matter what you do, no one cares about you anyway

 

 

I've seen this guy in the clinic, I don't think his lobotomy was effective.

 

 

 I used to date that guy. I liked the mask. He made me wear one too, when I wasn't wearing the paper bag.

 

Dr. Jolly loves to help the children.

 

 

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a Dr. Jolly.

She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

 

"I'm sure I can," Dr. Jolly replied. "Just go over there and lie face down on that couch."

 

 

 

On the ward Nurse Cratchit walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.

Nurse Cratchit asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"

Nurse Cratchit wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day Cratchit enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".

"Great," replied Nurse Cratchit.

Cratchit leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.

Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!" Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"

 

 

 That's not funny!! Who said that???

You should be ashamed of yourselves!!

 

 I'll be back, don't you worry!!