The urologist is in.

 

 

 Dr. Krochburne

 

 

"Had to go the cock doc. You know, the urologist. The guy who graduated Medical School and decided to specialize in fondling my jammy and grapes. "

 

Dr. Krotchburne has many grateful patients.

 

 

Not to brag, but we've had several very famous people here to visit Dr. Krotchburne.

 

 

 Hitler

 

 

 "The King"

 

 

Einstein

Pee Wee Herman

 

 Thomas Edison

 

Grace Jones

 

Michael Jackson

 

John Wayne Bobbit

 

 Bill Gates

 

The Beatles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A man had an appointment to see Dr. Krotchburne who shared an office with several other doctors.

The waiting room was the size of a small auditorium, and it was filled with patients.

 He approached the desk, where Nurse Cratchit sat -- a large, imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. In a very loud voice Nurse Cratchit repeated his name, then said, "Yes, I see your name here-----you want to see Dr. Krotchburne about IMPOTENCE, right?

He was stunned, but recovered his composure sufficiently to reply in an equally loud voice, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation---and I'd like the same doctor who did yours!!"

 

 WHO SAID THAT!!!

 

You all should be ashamed of yourselves. I'll give you sex change!!

 

 

I'll be back, don't you worry.

 

 

Dr. Bendsum

 

 

 Dr. Bendsum's assistant.

 

 

 

Dr. Bendsum is humored by the comments of his patients.

 

"Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

"Can you hear me NOW?"

"Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

"Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

"You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.
You do the Hokey Pokey...."

"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

"If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

"Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why did the Nurse Cratchit keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?

Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

 

 

Who said that!!! That's not funny. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

 

I'll be back, dont you worry.

The Hospital

Dr. Killsmany

Doctor Killsmany arrives at the hospital early in the morning. I get so excited when I see him. He doesn't know but I burn with lust for him. I want him to touch me all over my body. The way he smells like stale fritos consumes me. I have to have him.

"Doctor, if I give up booze and women, will I live longer?"
"Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

"Doctor, Doctor - Give it to me straight ... how long have I got?"
"Ten ... "
"Ten months, ten weeks, ten days ... what?"
"Nine ... "

 "Doctor, doctor, I could use some good news before the bad news"
"We were able to save your left arm.""What's the bad news?"
"It's on the table."

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Cut off your head.

 

 

He is so smart and so caring, yes, I have to have him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on Doctor Killsmany, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk.
 
Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.

The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."

The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."

The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."

Nurse Cratchit fainted.

Who Said that??  That's not funny. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

I'll be back, don't you worry!!

It's quiet on the ward, I'll have to wake a few people up. You know, for their sleeping pills.

 

 

 

 Seems like a nice girl.

I'll take her bitchy pill tonight.

 

 Nurse Cratchit walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, and says, "Well that's great. Some asshole's got my pen."

 

Who said that?????? You think that's funny??? You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

 Keep laughing, I'll be back, don't you worry.

I DON'T think that's funny one bit, the man should be ashamed of himself. I won't be so nice next time. I have a huge supply of large needles.

Quit your laughing!!! I'll be back, don't you worry.