I know you all have missed me but I see the antics have contuinued!!

   

Rule 1 -- The Nurse Is Always Right

Rule 2 -- Never yell at the nurses (refer to Rule #1.)

Rule 3 -- Don't hit patients or doctors-unless necessary.

Rule 4 -- All fevers will eventually come back to normal on the way to room temperature.

Rule 5-- Don't vomit on the doctor!

Rule 6 -- Death is a severe stage of shock, or shock is a pause in the act of dying.

Rule 7 -- All bleeding stops eventually.

Rule 8 -- Remember, the problem is always better than the X-ray looks.

Rule 9 -- You can't hurt a dead man.

Rule 10 -- Everybody has to die sometime.

Rule 11 -- Always do whatever you do best.

Rule 12 --Everyone gets treated exactly the same in here ---until he pisses you off.

Rule 13 -- To be right is only half the battle; to convince the patient is more difficult.

Rule 14 -- Uncommon manifestations of common diseases are more common than are uncommon diseases.

Rule 15 --The pain will go away when it stops hurting.

Rule 16 -- Don't get excited about blood loss-unless it's your own

Rule 17 -- It doesn't matter what you do as long as it's right.

Rule 18 -- If a patient has a catheter ---he needs it.

Rule 19 -- In medicine, always remember never to say always and never.

 

 

I know I have been away for some time. I have a new lover. Dr. Killsmany will always be in my heart but a woman has needs.

 

Meet Bubba

 

I met him here on the ward, after a very serious surgery, Bubba pulled through. I know it is unethical to date a patient but after his care here, he will not be returning to the ward.

 

Nurse Cratchit took Bubba home one night.

When they got to her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69.

"What do you mean?" Bubba asked.

Not knowing quite how to explain, she said, "You put your head between my legs and I'll put my head between your legs."

Still unsure but willing, Bubba agreed.

As soon as he got his head between her legs, Nurse Cratchit let out a rip-roaring fart.

"What the hell was that?!?" he asked.

"Oops! I'm so sorry! Let's try again," Cratchit said.

On the second attempt the very same thing happened.

Bubba immediately got up and started getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" Cratchit asked.

To which Bubba replied, "If you think I'm sticking around for 67 more of those, you're crazy!!"

 

Who said that??? That is not funny!!

 

Don't worry, I'll be back!