The clinic is full today.

 

 Dr. Jolly has been working overtime to see all of his crackpots.

 

Dr. Jolly was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

 You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

He turned to the second Mom. Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.

He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers "come on Dick, we're leaving."

 

 

 

 

 

Lola Luslips, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked.

"Doctor, you must help me," Lola pleaded.

"It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up sleeping with them.

And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed the Lola. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"

 

 

"On TV, the commercial says that 8 out of 10 people suffer from hemorrhoids.

Does this mean the other 2 people enjoy them?"

 

 

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. 

The friend was amazed at the number of times Nurse Cratchit entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.

 “Why all the attention?” the friend asked. “You look fine to me.”

“I know!” grinned the patient. “But  Nurse Cratchit formed a little fan club when they heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches.”

 

Who said that?? That's not funny!!

I'll be back, don't you worry!!

The ward has been like a madhouse.

People stopping by. Some have been very nice. I think a few are a little kooky.

 

 

Patient:It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.

Doctor:Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient:I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed."

 

 

 

 

A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients.

However, a little voice in his head said,

 "Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so its not like you're the first..." This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, "... but they probably weren't veterinarians"

 

 Nurse Lola Mae was walking down the hospital corridor when her Nurse Cratchit spotted her.

Cratchit couldn't believe it: Lola's hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

NURSE LUSLIPS! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!"

 "Oh," Nurse Luslips said, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those darn interns! They NEVER put anything back when they're through using it!"

 

 

Nurse Cratchit was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered.

This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing.

It was determined that the patient had an acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When the punk rocker was completely disrobed on the operating table, the operating room staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading:

"Keep off the grass."

After the prep and the surgery, Nurse Cratchit added a small note to the dressing that read: "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Who said that!! That's not funny!!

I'll be back, don't you worry!

I found this as I was looking over some of what goes on around here.

I decided to answer these questions.  

I don't know why, it's all a bunch of flop!  

 

When did you start on the blogstream?

September 2006

What were you expecting to get out of it when you started?

I was trying to see if I could stop all these antics!!

What is the biggest surprise you've had since you started?

People just want to be annoying, they read then they blabber.

What is the best thing about blogging?

I can tell it like it is, all the sex pots and the monkey business, it's everywhere!!

Would you say you are addicted to blogging?

Sure!! Just like I'm addicted to having rectal exams and oral surgery.

 

Do you see that as good or bad or neither?

I see it for what it is, just a bunch of poppycock!!

Name some bloggers you like and say what it is you like about them?

I don't care for anyone.

What is the worst thing about blogging?

The dirty men who try to seduce me.

Now that you've started, do you think you will ever give up blogging?

If the antics stop, maybe I will leave.

If you have a blog on another site, what is the difference between that site and the blogstream?

I don't have another site, I wish I did!!

 If you knew the blogstream was going to have a party somewhere in the U.S. would you go?

 I would be there and I would make sure that none of you had a good time!

 

Who would be the blogger you would most like to meet?

Captain Caption so I could kick him in the balls!!

What would be the most fun about meeting the bloggers?

Telling them they should be ashamed of themselves!!

 

Would you rather have it in Vegas or at Whit's house?

At the White House?? I don't think they would allow it. I see, Whit's house, I don't know who the hell that is.

 

Which blogger would you choose to be in charge of the music?

Just draw a name out of the hat, is it that hard??

 

Which blogger would you choose to be in charge of the food?

Julia Child, is she here??

Which blogger would you choose to be the emcee?

You'll all be babbling like loons, who wants to be the head loon??

Who would you expect to be the biggest party animals?

All these people are immoral. They'd be naked dancing on tables, having orgies, disgraceful!

 

Who would you expect to have the biggest hangover the next day?

Is it a contest?? You all drink too much, admit it.

Who would you expect to be different than what they seem on their blog?

No one, they still would be sex pots and hooligans.

If you could sit next to one blogger at dinner who would it be?

I'd like a table alone, to watch the flapdoodle.

Aside from your significant other, who would you want to dance with at the party?

Is this dancing with the stars?

 

Where should we go for breakfast the following morning?

To the next town, alone!!!!!!

 

I hope you liked the show!!

I'll be back, don't you worry!!

 

Things have been rather hectic here on the ward. The renovation is coming along nicely.

 

 

The new nurses leave a lot to be desired. They are all sex pots shaking their tail feathers around the doctors. It is quiet the spectacle.

 

 

Erma Easilay has been here to help, these other nurses are incompetent.

I should turn them all into the board!!

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor

He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."

Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.

He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."

After examining you, he says, "Now do me."

He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.

He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."

His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.

He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."

Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."

He tries to color your X-rays with crayons.

 

 

 

 They found a naked dead body of a nurse washed up on the shore today.

How did they know it was a nurse?

She had an empty stomach, a full bladder, and her butt was chewed out.

 

 

After a Bladder Scan showed a PVR of 1232 cc in a man's bladder, Nurse Cratchit went into the patient's room to insert a foley catheter.

The patient was an elderly gentleman and he became a little agitated as Nurse Cratchit explained the procedure and why he needed to have the catheter inserted.

He finally agreed to have the procedure done.

After I had sucessfully inserted the catheter, he sat upright in bed and said, "No decent woman would have done that."

Nurse Cratchit told him she agreed and that was why I was given the job.

 

Who said that!!

That's not funny, you should be ashamed of yourselves!!

 

I'll be back, Don't you worry!!

 

There are rumors going around here that there's a new nurse in town that is trying to steal my Dr. Killsmany from me.

 

It just can't be!!

 

I heard it first on this blog, http://bellarose.blogstream.com

 

I went to this blog and there was all sorts of bad things written, and filth. They should all be ashamed of themselves!!!!

 

 

I found a picture of the new girl. I hope you like it.

 

 

 Lola Luslips.

 

I hope they are just rumors. I can't see why anyone would try to spoil the love I have for Killsmany.

It's just not right!! Please tell me it ain't so. I need to know the truth.

 

 

Don't worry, I'll be back!