The Hospital
Dr. Killsmany
Doctor Killsmany arrives at the hospital early in the morning. I get so excited when I see him. He doesn't know but I burn with lust for him. I want him to touch me all over my body. The way he smells like stale fritos consumes me. I have to have him.
"Doctor, if I give up booze and women, will I live longer?"
"Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
"Doctor, Doctor - Give it to me straight ... how long have I got?"
"Ten ... "
"Ten months, ten weeks, ten days ... what?"
"Nine ... "
"Doctor, doctor, I could use some good news before the bad news"
"We were able to save your left arm.""What's the bad news?"
"It's on the table."
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Cut off your head.
He is so smart and so caring, yes, I have to have him.
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on Doctor Killsmany, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk.
Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
Nurse Cratchit fainted.
Who Said that?? That's not funny. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
I'll be back, don't you worry!! 
